


Sands Of Fate

by AquaLilly



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Body Worship, Bottom Kurosaki Ichigo, Boys Kissing, Dad Starrk, Daddy Issues, Daddy Kink, Hurt Kurosaki Ichigo, M/M, Pack Dynamics, Protective Grimmjow Jaegerjaques, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, S/M, Self-Harm, Size Kink, Soul Bond, Soulmates, Starrk lives, Top Grimmjow Jaegerjaques
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:00:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24584980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AquaLilly/pseuds/AquaLilly
Summary: It's been two years since the Winter War was won. Ichigo has been trying to cope with the loss of his powers but is doing a poor job. Even in his own home, he feels like a stranger. Just when he and his inner hollow were starting to understand one another, Shiro is snatched away but lies just beyond the surface.Grimmjow is bored in Hueco Mundo and is just looking for something fun. His dreams are suddenly invaded by a ghostly look-alike of his once rival but long time obsession. The spirit begs him to help everyone's favorite strawberry. Will the panther answer this call to action?
Relationships: Grimmjow Jaegerjaques/Kurosaki Ichigo
Comments: 28
Kudos: 162





	1. In Arms Reach

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a fanfic and I have no idea what I'm doing so I'd appreciate any feedback. This is just the first chapter so hopefully, I'll get better as the story goes on. 
> 
> HUGE TRIGGER WARNING. THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SELF-HARM  
> If that triggers you please do not read. As someone who used to self-harm, I understand if you don't want to read any farther than this.

Sands Of Fate  
Together But Alone

It had been two years. Two years of waking up screaming and trembling. Two years of gasping awake during the middle of the night, of feeling like a rock tossed into inky black waters. Sinking deeper and deeper into the colds pits of despair and isolation. Two painful years of reliving death, replaying memories soaked in blood. Two years since he became empty and alone.

  
Brown eyes stared blankly at the ceiling wall, street lamps illuminating his small room. The walls more often than not felt like they were closing in and even in the summer an unrelenting chill managed to sneak its way in. Turning on to his side Kurosaki Ichigo looked at the mocking lights of his alarm clock.

  
_5:00AM_

  
The teen sighed, he hadn’t been able to get a full night’s sleep in, Gods, he had lost track. He was plagued with nightmares, forcefully thrown into a world he didn’t understand, fighting enemies to protect friends that had been dragged into bloody battles because of him. He had been close to death so many times, died twice. He had defeated Aizen, protected his ‘friends’, his family, and Soul Society. What did he get in return? Lost his powers, and thrown to the side, treated like a wild animal that would attack at any moment. The Soul Society he could understand, his power was a threat and now that he no longer had it they didn’t need him. He was no longer a dog on a leash. What he couldn't understand was his close friends, Chad, Rukia, Renji, Orihime, and the rest. Even his dad had fallen back into the same mind-numbing routine like everything was a bad acid trip that lasted too long.

  
Ichigo had lost what made him, him. Just when he was starting to get to know his inner hollow, who also happened to be his Zanpaktou spirit, it all slipped from his grasps. A chill raked through his body causing him to curl up and pull the covers closer too his body. He hadn’t been to Urahara’s shop and he doubted anyone there actually cared that he was gone. Why would they? He was more trouble than he was worth, a broken tool. Who didn’t deserve the energy it would take to fix.

  
How could this happen? He always found himself asking that question. Why wasn’t he worth the effort, he had fought, he had bled, literally laid his life on the line countless time for people who tried to kill him. Was he really that insignificant? The only thing he was good for was fighting, a monster. He remembered how Orihime had looked at him after the war, how she would shy away not really wanting to be next to him, avoiding eye contact, then just not talking to him at all. He was a monster, he always had been, and the hollow that was once apart of him proved that. Filthy, he was disgusting, caked in dirt and blood from previous battles that wouldn’t come off no matter how much he scrubbed in the shower.

  
Being brought out of his spiral of self-loathing by his screeching alarm, he hit the button to make it stop and stiffly sat up and stayed on the edge of his bed staring at the floorboards hoping that they would open up and swallow him whole, just to take him anywhere but here. Groaning as he got up Ichigo pulled on some sweatpants and an oversize worn hoodie, it wasn’t particularly cold today but he had been getting skinnier and didn’t want to worry his younger sisters, they were all he had left. He had also been neglecting his hygiene, it had been a week since he had last scrubbed his skin raw, watched blood swirl down the drain from new wounds. Self-harm wasn’t something he did because he wanted to die, not necessarily. It reminded him of the battlefield, gave him a small buzz but never enough, so he’d cut deeper but never deep enough to cause serious harm. The orange-haired male liked to think he knew what he was doing, that he was in control but he knew; he knew he was playing with fire and one day one of his little sisters would find him in the bathroom pale and none responsive. 

  
Going downstairs he smiled at Karin who was sitting on the couch waiting for breakfast, his dad was nowhere to be found. The old man had stopped trying to attack around the sixth-month mark of being powerless, he tried to play along for a while but it made him tired and his chest ache. Karin smiled back, it was small and laced with sadness, sadness over the fact she couldn’t help her brother. She didn’t know where to even start, didn’t know how to help someone with so much trauma. 

  
“Yuzu is in the kitchen. I’m sure she’ll let you eat first.” It was all she could say. She hoped Ichigo would do more than sip some juice and nibble on a piece of toast before leaving back to his room.

  
“Yeah, ok.” Ichigo tried to smile and knew what graced his face looked fake, a mask that continued to crack, that might have already shattered. Entering the kitchen he spotted his other sister working happily at the stove, she turned around and let out a small yelp at seeing her big brother.

  
“Good morning, Onii-chan! Would you like some fresh fruit?” She said going to the fridge.

  
“No, I’ll just wait until everything else is ready,” he played with a frayed part of his hoodie, “have you seen Dad?” The younger ginger’s face fell a bit. He knew that meant Isshin had spent another night out then locked himself in his clinic. Ichigo really had no place to complain, he was still living here and his part-time job at the local book store really didn’t pay enough for him to move out

.  
“Well, breakfast will be done in a bit. Could you and Karin set the table?” She smiled softly, she looked so much like their mother it was scary at times. Ichigo let a soft hum of acknowledgment and went to get Karin. The two set the table, even putting a plate out for Isshin even though they all knew he’d come in after they had all ate and Ichigo had gone to work or was back in his room. Yuzu brought the food out and made each their own plate, Ichigo noticed that his plate had less, most likely an attempt to get him to eat. He picked up his chopsticks after giving thanks. Yuzu had decided to make a traditional Japanese breakfast. Ichigo ate what he could, a small bowl of rice and some miso soup. It was more than usual and Yuzu smiled at him as he pushed his food away. Even if he didn’t eat he’d stay and chat with his sisters.

  
“How is school going? Any boyfriends? Girlfriends?” 

  
“It’s going well! And I do have some friends in the student council.” Yuzu beamed, that’s right she was treasurer for the student council, and Karin was still on the soccer team last he checked. The dark hair twin looked at him before sighing

.  
“Coach has been workin’ us extra hard but it’s totally worth it when we kick the other team’s butts. You’ll come to my next game won’t you Ichi-nii?” She said looking at him hopefully.

  
“Of course Karin.” He ruffled her hair and chuckled when she swatted his hand away. “Do you need help with dishes Yuzu?”

  
“No Karin will help me. You go and try to get more sleep Onii-chan. You look really tired.” A frown graced her face and Ichigo couldn’t argue with her, he slept longer during the day even if it was two more hours more than his usual restless three. He got up from the table and gave each sister a hug before going back to his room. 

  
He decided that maybe taking a bath would be much more relaxing than standing in the shower. He gathered up his bath supplies then went to the bathroom. He washed off before filling the tub with hot water and some strawberry scented bubble bath soap that had been given to him as a gag gift a couple of years back. Tatsuki had given it to him, the aggressive female had moved away to study abroad for university. He really missed her but didn’t want to contact her, he didn’t want to burden his childhood friend with his demons, they were his to carry on his back. He let out a hearty sigh as he sunk into the tub, the water burned but that just made it better, the strong scent of fruit was quite pleasant, it had an undertone of roses and wasn’t overly sweet. He could feel his sore muscles relaxing and felt somewhat at peace, maybe he should do this type of stuff more. His hair had gotten longer over the two years and he didn’t really want to cut it. Twirling some between his finger he thought about what styles would look nice.

  
He closed his eyes for a brief second and when he opened them instead of being in the water he was neck-deep in white sand, sand that was slowly being dyed red with blood. But whose blood was it? His? He had many night terrors centered around Hueco Mundo, of dying and killing, fighting until he thought his bones would snap under the weight of his body. Looking around he was met with a vast emptiness, he had never had something like this happen. The sands were all-encompassing, and dragged him under as if trying to eat him, he thrashed and struggled and his lungs burned as sand made its way down his throat. Just like that, the sand was gone and he broke through the surface of the water with a loud gasp coughing up water. He swiped his hair from out of his face and quickly got out of the tub, hastily wrapping a towel around his waist and leaving the bathroom.

  
He went to his room to dry off and dress, his hair was still wet and made the collar of his pullover wet but he could careless putting on another pair of sweats (all of his skinny jeans were now ill-fitting) then proceeded to flop down on his bed. He felt something crawl onto his chest, he looked to see Kon, his bead eyes holding too much expression for a stuffed animal. The mod soul said nothing as he walked closer and hugged Ichigo around his neck. Ichigo honestly hated seeing Kon and the girls so worried about him. He knew he should try to fix it but he was afraid. Scared to let out everything that he had bottled up not only since the war but also since his mother had died. He always brought those around him bad luck, nothing but grief and heartache. A shuddering sigh left his mouth as tears began to well up in his eyes, Kon’s plush arms squeezed tighter as a horrible, melancholic and twisted with pure heartache. 

  
“Oh, oh Ichigo,” Kon said softly as he looked down ant the young man, a kid who had been broken and left to put himself back together. He should have never been involved with Soul Society and their bullshit. Look what it got him, wasting away in his room. 

  
‘We allowed you to live’

  
That was his reward, Soul Society could easily have made Ichigo their enemy and got rid of him while he was weak. This was a power move. 

  
Ichigo covered his eyes with his forearm and took a deep steadying breath followed by a hollow and unstable laugh. Hollow, he felt like the very things he was tasked with killing and had done so proudly. What a fool he was. “Go away Kon, I need to be alone right now,” he rolled onto his side and closed his eyes knowing that he wasn’t going to get any sleep, and he didn’t have to work. The plushy didn’t say anything and hopped off the bed, his feet pattering against the hardwood floor.

  
“Ya’know Ichi. I think you should let someone help you for once. Maybe go see Urahara, he and Yoruichi know what it’s like to be outcasts.” That was all he said before he left.

  
Would they know how he felt? The two shunned shinigami had been thrown away before he was even born, the Visoreds too, but they had been welcomed back into Soul Society after the war was done and their names cleared. Why weren’t they seen as monsters anymore? Was it just him? The sinking sensation from the bathroom had come back, his chest felt heavy and he couldn’t get enough air. An outcast, Ichigo had always been different, always picked on for things he couldn't control. He thought he had gained allies but they had turned their back, slipped through his fingers like silky sand. He was the problem, that was the only answer. The room started to spin causing his stomach to turn, hid throat burned and dark spots danced in and out of his line of sight. His chest hurt. It hurts. Mom, Dad. It hurts!

Ichigo wanted to scream but he couldn't, reaching under his pullover he scratched at his chest until it started to bleed the pain brought him back to someplace centered in reality. 

  
Pain. That’s what he needed. Falling out of bed and crawling to his bedside dresser he yanked the drawer open causing it to crash to the ground, he rummaged through until he found a small black case, opening it up he pulled out a fresh razor. He needed this, his panting grew harsher as cool metal bit into what skin was visible, his wrist, stomach. He kept going until the pain was all he could feel until his emotions numbed. His hands shook, covered in blood, it was all over his floor. How much did he cut? This wasn’t good. He ran his hands through the blood in a detached manner then smeared down his ruined clothing. He felt dizzy, dull brown eyes lazily looked at his bland room that hadn’t changed a bit since he was younger, taking everything in like it was the last time he was going to see it.

  
There was a knock at his door, “Onii-chan? I’m coming in” The door opened and he heard the startled gasp of his younger sister “Onii-chan! Karin! Get dad!” she screamed as she ran over to him. He wanted to feel bad that he allowed his sister to see him like this, that she would be scared and wouldn’t be able to sleep. But at that moment as he drifted off, not sure if he’d ever wake up again, he felt completely hollow.


	2. Follow Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grimmjow is sent out on a task by Hallibel, bored he accepts the mission and ends up in Karkura Town. However, something is calling out to him and leads him to a familiar pair of faces.

Follow Me

  
  


Grimmjow Jaegerjaques was always driven by a need to survive. Obtaining power was necessary to thrive and not be a mindless wandering soul waiting to be someone else lunch. His previous form had been small and many other hollows thought he was easy prey. He proved all of them wrong and consumed their flesh and reishi. He had outlived those who had looked down on him.

Being struck by Nnorita was shameful, he was so focused on Kurosaki that he let himself be hit. He had shown weakness and laid in the sand as the substitute shinigami had fought the other Espada like Grimmjow needed his help. He wasn’t a fucking charity case, he wished he had the energy at the time to yell at the stupid kid. The stupid kid who left him to go protect that weak woman, all she was good for was healing, a risk on the battlefield. Didn’t Kurosaki know that? The blue-haired Arrancar laid in the sand, he had felt Ulquiorra’s reiatsu spike, and he’d never admit it to anyone (not even on his deathbed) but he was disappointed when he felt the reiatsu of the fiery-haired male disappear, only to return tenfold. He had no clue what was happening, his body refused to move past his hand gripping tightly to his treasured Pantera.

It took Grimmjow almost a week to build up enough strength to fully heal himself and lick his wounds. It took even longer for him to regather his pride and go back to Las Noches, he had always hated the white walls, and the white rooms. Aizen’s God complex was insufferable and he only followed the traitor because he offered him away to be stronger only to compare his strength to other misfits he had found while wondering Hueco Mundo. The palace the Soul reaper had built for himself was like a prison, Grimmjow had always felt like a caged animal. He was forced to follow along with tedious plans, and back up plans, forced to sit and twiddle his thumbs while their enemies grew stronger. When he took matters into his own hands he not only lost his pack but an arm as well. He was punished for trying to take out a threat just because Aizen wanted to seem like some sort of mastermind always nine steps ahead of the rest. It was bullshit.

So Grimmjow waited, and waited. Two years had passed. Aizen was defeated and it felt like some type of fog was cleared from his head. The former Sexta Espada still loved to fight but was no longer unreasonably bloodthirsty and brash. He took the time to plan out his moves and no longer felt like everyone was looking down on him.

He never forgot those brown eyes that held so much passion, eyes that were just like his. He had once mistaken those brown, almost gold orbs for mocking him, looking down on him as a fighter. Grimmjow understood a bit better now, along with seeing the mask that Ichigo had dawned that the kid had the same blood-lust as any other hollow but was forced to suppress it. Those eyes showed just how much the kid had loved the screeching of metal upon metal, the cracking of bones and when Pantera met his blade Grimmjow could feel the excitement and pleasure that came with an honorable fight.

Two years and the only Espada to return was Nel, Hallibel, and Starrk. With them, they brought their fraccion and lived in the palace with the rest of the surviving Arrancar. Hallibel had taken over as ruler as Hueco Mundo and Grimmjow had no problems with that, he no longer cared for the title of king, a king to a land that was already ruled by instinct, something he could never overcome.

He trained hard, sparred with Hallibel and Starrk if the old man felt like staying up long enough. Nel could only maintain her adult form for so long; a problem they were all working to fix. The days passed slowly with not much to do. Fight off a group of Menos that had wondered to close, walk the halls of Las Noches, go out past the barrier of the artificially light landscape and bask in the moonlight, feel the ivory sands cling to the skin in a familiar embrace.

Grimmjow spent most of his time out in the barren wasteland that was Hueco Mundo, mainly in his release form. It was close to his original form he could get, and while he was stronger he missed prowling around on all fours and the general lack of manners one needed when they were a large bone platted panther. He and Pantera had gotten closer thanks to this and he was more in tune with his inner self that alone increased his power. The female panther had hinted at another form.

She had explained that Espada’s first release for, La Primera Resurreccion, which was like a Shinigami using their Shikai, and La Segunda Resurreccion, which was like a Bankai. Grimmjow was determined to unlock this second form. The first thing he would do was go back to the world of the living and make good on the promise Kurosaki made when he thought the Arrancar was knocking at death’s door. He no longer wanted to kill Kurosaki but the thought of bringing the stubborn ginger to his knees and beg made Grimmjow feel thing he hadn’t since he was alive, and those memories were so blurred and jumbled with others he didn’t know which were his or if they were even real if he was ever actually human. His palms would get sweaty and his blood would rush like at the beginning of a fight. His teeth and claws ached with the need to sink into warm, soft flesh. Not to kill but to mark his victim, his prey. The blood would always rush south and at that point, Grimmjow would go out to hunt to let off steam or take a cold shower.

He could admit what that meant to him at a later time.

“ _Grimmjow,”_ a strange voice called out to him. Said male turned to look to see who was calling him but found no one. Was he finally going mad with nothing to do? He felt something touch his shoulder and quickly whizzed around firing a warning cero just in case it was Starrk’s cub playing with him. All he was greeted with was a fading blur of white. Crouching down into a fighting stance, hand on the hilt of Pantera, someone had to be fucking with him. Feeling around for spiritual pressure he didn’t find anything different from the low-level hollows that knew they were too weak to even think about challenging the Panther King. After a while, he stood straight and went back to Las Noches via sonido.

Arriving back to what he had reluctantly called home, Grimmjow made his way to his quarters. There wasn’t much else to do. He was glad that the shower still worked, he loved standing under the hot spray of water, then soaking in a warm bath after. Not all cats hated water after all. Upon entering his room he let out a very manly yelp when two blurs tackled him to the ground.

“Play with us you stupid cat!” Lilynette said as she pulled on blue locks.

“Yea Gwimmjow, Nel wants ta have fun.” The former Tres Espada sat on his stomach, how could something so little be so dense and heavy?

“Get offuva me ya snot-nosed brats,” he grabbed each one by the collar and sat up tossing them into the hall. “I should blast yer heads off wit’ a cero for sneaking up on me like that.” Grimmjow stood and brushed off his pants.

“Yeah right, kitty boy. Starrk would kill you if anything happened to me.” The green-haired fraccion said crossing her arms.

“Why don’t you go mess wit’ him then?”

“He told us to go finds ya instead,” Nel said clinging to his leg. He really wished she was back in her prissy adult form.

“I gotta take a shower so scram!” He snarled at the two causing them to run away in a fit of giggles. He’d never understand cubs. Just as he was going into his room Hallibel appeared looking as stoic as ever.

“Grimmjow, I need you to go the world of the living and bring back a powerful adjuchas, their population has been declining and I don’t why.” She said leaving no room for an argument.

“Fine Tia. Where is it exactly?”

“Karakura Town.”

Grimmjow thought for a moment, Karakura Town? That’s where Kurosaki was stationed, he was pretty sure the kid lived there too. Maybe after sending the stray adjuchas back he could fight the feisty ginger, see why he hadn’t come back to fight as they promised. “Yeah, I’ll go.” Lifting his hand up and tearing through the air it distorted and opened up a Garganta.

“Be safe Grimmjow, and if you encounter any Soul Reapers do not fight them.”

The cocky male just waved her off as he walked into the black void, he wasn’t fucking stupid. He could make no promises if someone attacked him, he’d have to retaliate in self-defense after all. He could go for a good warm-up fight before he faced off against Kurosaki. The mouth of the Garganta closed shut behind him and he took his time walking through the empty portal. If he focused he could pick up on slight sounds that whispered around him.

“ _Save him.”_

Grimmjow’s eyes widened, it was the same voice from earlier. A male voice but there was no spike in spiritual pressure. Maybe it’s just the whispering of a lost soul soon to be a hollow. He ignored it and continued to walk until he reached the other end of the portal. He was in the middle of the human city, it was dark so the useless flesh bags were probably sleeping. Too weak to even know the dangers lurking around. The air sewed itself shut behind him as he felt for the reiatsu of the runaway adjuchas. He also kept a lookout for any Shinigami that might appear in the area.

It didn’t take long to locate his target, the hollow was on the outskirts of the small town. Using sonido he made his way towards his prey. Hallibel had something about the numbers decreasing, which was worrisome, there was a balance of reishi that had to be maintained, or else Hueco Mundo would crumble, causing the other worlds to collapse too. If something was going on it needed to be stopped immediately. Masking his reiatsu Grimmjow came to a stop and looked around. “Where did that fucker go?” He could still feel it’s spiritual pressure so it was close. His ear twitched at the sound of rustling leaves and he leaned to the side dodging the adjuchas. Landing on all fours the creature turned and hissed at him. It was a cat-like creature. It wasn’t very bulky, narrow and long, built more for speed than power. It’s back arched to make itself look bigger, bone-like spines protruded from the back of the creature all the way down to the tail and red stripes ran along its dark brown body. The mask that adorned the hollow’s face looked more like the skull of some large bird. Grimmjow didn’t break eye contact, even if it was small it was still powerful enough to make it’s way to the world of the living.

“Quit yer hissing ya fleabag!” Grimmjow snarled, the adjuchas snarled back and moved like it was ready to run. Grimmjow was faster and as soon as it took of the Espada was already in front of the creature blocking its path. “I ain’t gonna hurt ya, we’re tha same ya? Ya can smell it can’t ya?”

The creature seemed to calm down a bit still looking skeptical. Grimmjow sighed this seemed like it would be easier than he first thought.

“Ya gotta go back to Hueco Mundo, yeah? I know ya can’t speak but ya can understand me right?” The hollow nodded “Right, some shit is goin’ on, probably ta do with the shinigami, so Imma open a garganta, and yer gonna walk right through.” Just for good measure, Grimmjow allowed his spiritual pressure to flare and press down his fellow hollow. Once he was sure the cat got the message he tore open a garganta and watched as the adjuchas walked through, just as he was about to go in he stopped.

The cat looked back at him “Just go ta Las Noches, I got something to take care of.” He touched the cat to cover it with some of his reiatsu just so no one would mess with it. Grimmjow knew what it was like to be smaller than normal and this adjuchas was smaller than what he was so for it to have survived so long meant the creature was strong. The portal closed as the other hollow made their way back to the sands of Hueco Mundo.

Grimmjow had been sending his own reiastu out to feel for a certain shinigami but didn’t feel anything. Maybe Kurosaki had gotten better at keeping his monstrous reiastu hidden but there would still be something for Grimmjow to look for. A trail to follow. The kid’s aura no longer blanketed the town, he could sense the big tit healer girl and the other lackeys that followed Kurosaki but he couldn't feel the stupid teen anywhere.

“ _Ya gotta help him.”_ Grimmjow was something white move through the trees, it was solid and seemed to fade in and out. _“Grimmjow.”_ There was a human saying, that Grimmjow couldn't recall fully at the moment while chasing the white blob that seemed to be leading him somewhere. Something about a cat named curiosity or something like that. Fuck this thing was fast. Whenever it seemed like Grimmjow had gotten close enough to catch it, it disappeared and reappeared a couple of feet ahead of him. He knew his pupils were probably dilated, a trait that carried over from his feline form.

He stopped just outside of what looked to be some human shop. He felt two strong captain level spiritual pressures. Ones he hadn’t felt before which meant they knew he was here. They didn’t seem like the would attack until he did. He could also feel the reiastu of that orange-haired chick just great.

“ _...help him...you gotta save Ichigo.”_ He heard the voice again as the white blob faded away from the front of the shop. Ichigo? This was related to Kurosaki? Was it the same reason he couldn't feel the other’s reiatsu.

Out of the shop walked two people, a rather scruffy looking man with a striped bucket hat and a fan, he had the same eyes as Aizen, but there seemed to be a childlike curiosity behind them set on seeing just how this would play out. Beside him was a woman with dark mocha skin and purple hair, her golden eyes glimmered with mischief and a feral danger akin to a wild animal. Not only that she was completely naked but her posture and spiritual pressure said she could kick ass without needing the protection clothes offered.

“Where’s Kurosaki?” Grimmjow said as blunt as usual, the two soul reapers looked surprised, the homeless looking male quickly schooled his expression and covered most of his face with the fan.

“You wouldn’t be here to cause harm to Kurosaki-san would you, Arrancar-san?”

“What? I can’t feel the kid’s spiritual pressure I wouldn’t even know where to find him. Besides, I ain’t come here to fight him, not yet.” Grimmjow said honestly, what would he get from lying? Just a bunch of mind games he didn’t want to play.

The busty female frowned looking hurt like she lost someone close to her. “Oi, he ain’t dead is he?”

“Nothing like that Arrancar-san.”

“Call me Grimmjow.”

“Grimmjow, would you like to come in?” It was the female who asked. Grimmjow turned his head he could feel the girl, Orihime, getting closer along with some other. He sighed.

“Next time maybe, I was told not ta start shit. Just came ta round up a stray adjuchas.” He said while opening a garganta.

“A stray adjuchas? Why go through all the trouble to bring one back?” The blonde male asked.

“Hell if I know.” With that the panther left. Like he was gonna tell some shinigami bastard that their numbers were declining. He just wanted a shower and to go to take a long nap.

Returning back to Las Noches, he went straight to his part of the palace to finally relax. Entering his room he stared at the cat adjuchas he had sent back. It seemed like they made themselves at home and was now lounging across Grimmjow’s bed. He was too tired to deal with that. He went to the shower and undressed, turning the water on as hot as it would go he got in and let the torrent of water cascade down his body and rinse away all the dirt and grime.

Those shinigami seemed to know Kurosaki, they weren’t dressed like the other Soul Reapers he had fought against. Live it to Kurosaki to attract a bunch of throwaways. He wonders what the kid is up to if not out patrolling, there must have been something going on. He didn’t want to think too much about the teen because it always led to his thoughts going somewhere dangerous. A lithe tan body under him, strong legs wrapped around his waist as he buried himself inside of -

A groan left Grimmjow’s lips and he turned off the water and went back to his room without grabbing a towel, he wasn’t gonna be shy around a stinkin’ adjuchas. “ **Move**.” He growled out a command and the cat hopped off his bed and went to lay on the couch in the corner of the room. Falling onto his bed he sighed and let sleep drag him down.

Electric blue eyes snapped open as he felt himself be submerged in what water. He tried to swim upwards but just seemed to sink further and further down. His lungs began to burn opening his mouth to gasp he was surprised when he didn’t choke and drown, his hands came up to his throat as he took a deep breath in then released it. His could breathe, his feet touched the ground and he looked around, he was surrounded by destroyed buildings. What was this place? He had to be dreaming. Walking down the street he noticed that this place looked like Karkura Town, only less put together.

“ _You made it. I was worried ya wouldn’t be able ta come here.”_ A body appeared in front of him, reaching for Pantera he frowned when she wasn’t there. The thing in front of him looked like a mirror image of Kurosaki but he had no color every part of him was pale white save for his black and gold eyes, the same eyes that had looked at him when Kurosaki used his mask. _“Ya don’t need Pantera. I ain’t gon’ fight ya. I just need yer help.”_

“Help wit’ what?” Grimmjow didn’t let his guard down.

“ _They sealed Ichi’s powers away, which means they sealed me away.”_ The look-alike explained.

“And just who are you.” The Espada was genuinely interested now. Why were Kurosaki’s powers sealed away and who would want to do it.

“ _I’m Zangetsu, one half of Ichigo’s Zanpaktou spirit ‘nd tha source of his hollow powers. Listen up kitty, cuz I don’ like ta repeat myself even for a handsome guy like you.”_ The spirit paused to think about where he should start. _“In order for Ichigo to defeat Aizen I had ta teach him a new technique but at the time there was somethin’ messin’ with ma head. I and the old man, the other half of Ichigo’s power were being controlled by someone. I’m sure the Soul Society had somethin’ ta do with it.”_

Grimmjow nodded pretty much understanding what was being told to him but he didn’t get what Soul Society had to do with it. Why would they want to take away the powers of their strongest ally, it didn’t make sense. Unless, “If it is the Soul Society, they’d be able to use his powers whenever they deemed necessary. They could give and take his powers away wit worryin’, about him being a threat.”

“ _Wow, yer smarter than ya look, kitty.”_ Grimmjow ignored the comment.

“How am I s’poused ta help?”

“ _Just get him ta Urahara, his a mad genius even if he looks like a bum, he’s always been on Ichi’s side.”_

Looks like a bum, he must be talking about that old guy from earlier. But if the kid didn’t even have enough reiatsu to sense he wouldn’t be able to see the Arrancar. “I’ll do what can, you two owe me a fight after all.” A deadly smirk spread across his face showing of sharp white teeth, he’d do whatever it took to mark Kurosaki as his, forever his prey. Zangetsu gave his own smirk. “How were even able to get into my mind?”

“ _You and Ichigo are more alike than you two think, me and yer Pantera connected the last time ya two fought. Couldn’t have happened if the both of yer souls weren’t compatible.”_

“What? What does that mean?” Zangetsu just laughed as the water started to disappear and Grimmjow began to wake up.

Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, Grimmjow groaned as he sat up, next to him was the cat. He’d have to give them a name when he found out what gender was. Right now he had to come with a plan to get Ichigo’s powers back. He also had a feeling the disappearing adjuchas had something to do with the Soul Society as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it took a while to get this out, I hope you all enjoyed it. The next chapter is going to be Ichigo's POV. I'm going to try and make it a bit longer so it might take a while to get posted.


	3. Daylight Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo gets some hard news, an unexpected visitor, and a strange dream. What does it all mean? Things are certainly starting to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning, mentions of self-harm
> 
> Sorry for the late update but I really struggled with this chapter. Also, the following chapters will include both Ichigo's and Grimmjow's POV.

Daylight Nightmares

  
  


_ Laying down on cool sand was not what Ichigo was expecting when he woke up. Looking up an empty black night sky looked back, the only thing visible was a full moon. Turning his head to the side he slowly ran his hands through pure white sand, the grain slipped through his fingers almost like water. He was in Hueco Mundo. But why? He tried to sit up but couldn’t, it was like something was holding him down but he had no idea what. He couldn’t feel anything, the area was filled with silence and nothing moved around him, not close enough to be seen. Ichigo didn’t know how he ended up in the vast desert, maybe this was a dream. He wished it was real. He wanted to be eaten up by some hollow. Vivid blue eyes and a devious smirk flashed through his mind. An Arrancar, that’s what he wanted to be consumed by, but he was sure the one that came to mind would laugh in his face. Ichigo wondered if the Arrancar’s teeth would be as sharp as the ones on his mask looked. He could hear them clacking together as a certain blue-haired male cackled running an ivory sword through his heart. _

_ These thoughts should scare Ichigo but he found himself thinking of the Sexta Espada more often than he liked to admit, he wondered if Grimmjow was still alive. Ichigo hadn’t been able to return to his rival and check on him; however, he knew Grimmjow was strong and stubborn to a fault. He was sure the man could survive on nothing but hatred and a grudge. _

_ Shivering Ichigo felt like something was watching him, he tried to look around but saw nothing. He felt like prey about to be devoured. His heartbeat started to pick up, he didn’t know if it was fear or excitement at the thought of being taken away from all the pain and panic attacks. With a defining roar something leaped out at him, claws extend and jaws wide open. _

  
  


_ A panther. _

  
  


Ichigo awoke with a start, heart hammering in his chest. He looked around frantically trying to tether himself down before he could no longer keep his breathing under control. He was laying on a cot in the family clinic. He sat up with a groan and something fell off his chest into his lap. It was Kon. Why was he in here? His mind was a bit fuzzy, he reached out to waked the mod soul but stopped when he saw bandages around his arm. He sat in the bed looking at the room as things slowly started to clear up in his mind.

Oh yeah, he had an episode yesterday, he hoped it was yesterday he had no clue how long he slept. Reaching down he pulled up the gown that was placed on him to see his stomach wrapped up as well, blood was slowly starting to seep through and stain the cloth. He let the material fall back down.

“You’re up!” Ichigo looked at Kon who was now standing on his lap, he grabbed the stuffed animal and pulled him close into a tight hug.

“Gods...I’m sorry. I...I don’t-”

“Ichigo, we were worried. Yuzu hasn’t been able to sleep and Karin hasn’t said a single word. We thought...we thought we’d lost you!” The mod soul broke down crying and Ichigo did his best to keep his own tears at bay.

Yuzu was the one who had came into his room, he remembered the terrified, heart-shattering shriek that left her mouth upon seeing him. He had to go to his sisters and comfort them. Let them know he was okay, that this would never happen again. At least not for them to witness again. Let them know he’d get better even if he was lying to himself and them. He threw the covers from off his body and yanked the IV from out of his hand and went to stand up.

The door opened and Isshin walked through, face hardened and lips pulled into a thin line. He closed the door behind himself and stood there for a moment. He took in his son’s current appearance and took a deep breath to steady himself. “Ichigo,” he exhaled, his deep baritone voice seemed to echo and reverberate through the room. The younger male suddenly felt tense, hairs sticking up on the back of his neck. His gut told him something bad was about to happen. He wished he could just stop time, go back, and keep everything from happening. Stop himself from even meeting Rukia.

“Dad I-” He was cut off by Isshin raising a hand and shaking his head.

“Ichigo what you did was extremely idiotic and reckless.” He said sternly and Ichigo couldn’t help but look away ashamed. “And to put your sisters through that is unforgivable. You’re 18 Ichigo, and yet you’ve made no plans to do something with your life.” Ichigo didn’t like where the conversation was heading, he clutched at Kon and tried to take deep slow breaths but was failing miserably. He looked at his dad, eyes full of fear, and panic. He felt like a frightened child.

“W-what are you saying? Dad, you can’t be-”

“I want you out Ichigo. If you’re not going to finish your schooling you can’t stay here and be a child forever. You have a week to pick what you want to do.” Isshin said coldly and turned to leave the room.

Ichigo felt his heart stop and plummet to his stomach for what felt like ages before kicking back up in high speed, but felt like he couldn’t breathe quick enough to keep up with it. Fat hot tears fell down his face as he gasped out a word he hadn’t used since his mother had been killed.

“Daddy,” Ichigo gasped out in a small broken voice, Isshin paused, then continued to leave the room. The door shut with a soft click but to Ichigo, it was the loudest sound he ever heard, like a gunshot ringing out through the empty room. “Daddy, please! You can’t!” The ginger continued, his body shook and his hands trembled. The world seemed to tilt slowly on its axis, as his vision blurred. He placed a shaking hand to his chest. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t. His heart, he couldn’t feel it beating. His throat burned and he was red in the face as saliva ran down his chin from parted lips as he breathed in faster searching for his life pulse.

He jumped when something soft gently touched his arm. Kon was still here. He had heard everything and was now saying something to Ichigo, but nothing came out. Ichigo couldn’t hear him. Loud ugly sobs left his mouth. He couldn’t calm down, he didn’t know what to do. His dad had turned his back to him, was kicking his only son out. Why?

Why? Why? WHY?

The door opened again and before he knew it, Ichigo was engulfed in a hug on both sides.

“Onii-chan,” Yuzu said burying her face into her brother’s side.

Karin didn’t say anything but ran her fingers through his hair in a manner that was unlike her usual brash behavior. Ichigo felt himself calm down, his hand didn’t leave his chest and he couldn’t stop himself letting out small hiccups and mumbling out senseless words.

Isshin had never been the best father, when Masaki had passed he didn’t talk to Ichigo, he focused on the twins and work and when Yuzu was old enough to do the cooking and cleaning Isshin had turned to an utter buffoon, and played the idiotic dad role. Even when Ichigo got his powers the man said nothing about how he himself was just a Soul Reaper living in a fake body. He wasn’t even a regular Shinigami, he was a Squad Captain. He had hidden that from Ichigo until his final battle, had taught him a technique that took away his powers, something Ichigo had been born with. The same power that got his mom killed by a hollow. All his life the teen had been spiritually aware and even somewhat stronger than his peers. Most people had bullied him for being so strange, Isshin did nothing but sit back and watch.

“How long was I out?” Ichigo said in a small voice.

“Just a day Ichi-nii, it’s only 2 PM,” Karin said as she pulled away from him, Yuzu still clung to his side.

“I have work today. I have to get ready.” He pushed his sisters away as he slowly got up off the bed. His body felt strange like he didn’t belong in it.

“I already called them, you need to rest Onii-chan,” Yuzu spoke up whipping her own tears away. “I’ll fix you something to eat, whatever you want.”

Ichigo stared blankly as his younger siblings, “Fruit would be nice.” He wasn’t really hungry but he knew trying to eat would make the girls happy. Just because he was a broken mess didn’t mean they had to be as well. “I’m going to go wash up.” He said leaving the clinic and entering the house, he went upstairs and went into the bathroom. Standing in front of the mirror, taking off the gown and pulling his bandages off and gazed at his reflection.

He could see his ribs showing, whatever muscle he had was gone. Thanks to Orihime’s healing powers he didn’t have many scars from fighting, the ones that remained were straight, thin lines made from the impossibly sharp steel of a Zanpaktou. In comparison the ones he had made in the past two years were jagged, varying in size and had healed slowly due to constantly being picked at or cut over again in a frenzy. Fresh cuts on his stomach had reopened and blood slowly dripped down his waist and legs, scars littered his thighs and many peeked out from the bandages around his arms. He was destroying himself.

Ichigo felt like he was looking at another person, he was slowly destroying himself. He had told himself many times that he didn’t want to die, over and over again but those words he’d tell himself as he sliced up his flesh seemed flimsy now. Ichigo always told himself that he was put here to protect, to keep those around him safe but that was a lie. He was a selfish teen who just wanted to be noticed and praised. He wanted people to look at him and see through the tough guy act he had built up to keep himself from crumbling all those years ago. He loved to fight just for the sake of fighting and fighting to protect others was a perfect excuse to do so. Without violence in his life, he couldn’t function, he couldn’t be normal because it just wasn’t in his coding.

Digging blunt nails into freshly opened wounds Ichigo bit his lip to stifle a groan. He dug in deeper, harder, and felt a moan bubble up in his throat, he liked the pain that came along with a battle. Even before he got his powers and would fight those who bullied him, he liked the pain that came with being punched in the face.

Ichigo was sick, he was broken, he was tired. Tired of pretending to be some war hero, the only people he genuinely wanted to keep safe were Yuzu and Karin. And the ginger knew they would try to look out for him but he didn’t want to keep them from enjoying their teenage years, he had already endangered them, he didn’t want them to waste time pitying him. They deserved better. So Ichigo would pretend to be better, get another job or two so he could afford to move out. Whatever it took.

He grabbed a towel from off the rack and wrapped around himself and walked to his room. There was a bowl of fruit sitting on the nightstand by his bed. He smiled softly at the bowl of strawberries and the sticky note attached.

‘Feel better you idiot

-Karin’

He smiled, but it felt strained. He picked up a strawberry and popped it in his mouth. It was good. He sat on his bed and just let the last day playback in his mind. Being kicked out by his own dad, a lot of teens went through this kind of thing, he just thought Isshin would be more understanding, actually try to help Ichigo. He sighed and collapsed onto the bed, a curtain of sunset orange hair flaring out and surrounding his head like a halo.

He had no one to turn to, he stopped trying to keep in touch with his once friends when they stopped coming to check on him.

“ _...he and Yoruichi know what it’s like to be outcasts.” _ Kon’s voice replayed itself in his head. It wouldn’t hurt to go see hat and clogs but he wasn’t feeling up to it today, he just wanted to sleep but he knew that wasn’t likely. He’d have more nightmares than usual and he was sure they would center around his dead mother.

A week, Ichigo thought. That wasn’t really a lot of time to find new jobs. Going for his phone he went down the contact list until he found the right number he hit dial and brought the phone to his ear. It rang for a moment and was quickly answered. “Hey, it’s Ichigo. I was wondering if you had any extra hours I could work? Oh...ok I understand thank you.” Ichigo hung up and threw the phone across the room, it hit the wall then smacked down against the floor.

He’d just been laid off. Just fucking great.

What now? He sat up and looked at his dresser, the drawer had been put back in along with everything in it. He knew the razor blades had been taking away without having to look, but that’s not what he wanted. He remembered Isshin giving him a small bottle of sleeping pills when his restless night turned into days with little to now sleep causing him to pass out multiple times. At the time Ichigo refused to take any, he thought he’d slowly get better. He reached out to open the top drawer and fished around until he felt the bottle, pulling them out he looked at the label.

‘ **TAKE TWO PILLS BY MOUTH EVERY EVENING’**

Ichigo opened the bottle a shook two pills onto his palm, he popped them in his mouth and swallowed them dry. He closed the pill bottle and put it away. Laying back down he pulled his blanket over his body and waited for the medication to take effect.

Ichigo didn’t know when he fell asleep, he didn’t dream in his medicine induced sleep. All he knew was that right now he was being gently shaken by a gentle hand.

“Ichi-nii. Wake up.” Karin said softly.

Groaning the older sibling sat up in his bed and ran a hand through long messy orange locks. “What is it, Karin?”

The dark-haired girl frowned, she didn’t want to disturb her brother, especially after what happened two days ago. Ichigo needs his rest but she thought this was important. “Orihime-san is here, sh say she has something important to tell you.”

Ichigo sat there in silence trying to process what Karin had just told him. Orihime was here? Why now, after all this time did she decide to come back? Did she know what had happened? He couldn’t even think straight, he felt so angry and confused. He nodded stiffly. She’d keep coming back if he didn’t confront her. Steeling his nerves and detracting himself somewhat from reality he turned to Karin, face blank and voice void of emotion.

“I have to get dress, tell her I’ll be down in a minute.”

Karin nodded and hugged her brother before leaving the room. Placing a hand on his chest Ichigo still felt nothing, he knew his heart was beating but it just wasn’t registering in his mind. He didn’t want it to continue beating, but for the twin’s sake, he would keep going.

Pulling on a long-sleeved shirt and a pair of sweats Ichigo left his room and made his way downstairs to the living room. Orihime was sitting there, a cup of tea in hand. She hadn’t changed a bit, she looked healthy and all put together. Her hair wasn’t oily and stringy from not taking showers, there were no bags or dark circles under her eyes from being constantly awoken due to nightmares, or panic attacks, no scars to be seen anywhere on her body. Her face wasn’t sunken in from not eating, in fact, it looked as if she had been eating well. Ichigo would bet money it all went to her boobs. He felt his anger boil just beneath his skin as he looked her up and down.

She turned to face him, her eyes widening at the sight of him. Ichigo kept his face blank as pity filled her eyes. Her hairpins still in the same place, the source of her power. Ichigo felt his face scrunch up a little in disgust, he wanted to snatch them out of her hair and crush them into pieces.

“Kurosaki-san,” She stood up and nervously tucked a piece of hair behind her head. “How are you?” Her eyes roamed over his body before going back to his face.

Ichigo let out an annoyed sigh, “As good as I can be. What do you want, Inoue?”

The girl flinched at his tone of voice and the use of her surname, she was used to Ichigo being very friendly with her but right now he seemed cold and detached. “It’s just, uhm, I wanted to check on you.” She looked down and fiddled with her fingers, “For about a week now there’s been a certain hollow presence appearing in Karakura Town, a very familiar one.” She said softly.

“Well it’s not like I can feel anything, so I wouldn’t know Inoue. What does this have to do with me?” Ichigo snapped at felt a smug satisfaction when his once friend flinched at his voice.

“It’s Grimmjow.”

“What?” Ichigo said, maybe he had misheard her. It couldn’t be.

“Grimmjow Jaegerjaques has returned, not only that he’s been going to Urahara-san’s shop, I had tried to go and see what’s going on but Yoruichi-sama keeps telling me it’s nothing to worry about. But I’m worried about you, Grimmjow really hated you.”

Grimmjow was back, and had been for a week now? Ichigo couldn’t even sense him, the Arrancar could have come at any time to finish Ichigo off and the human would be none the wiser. But as far as he knew Grimmjow hadn’t come here, he was with Kisuke and Yoruichi. Why? His hand slowly made it’s way to his throat and he squeezed softly, faintly he could feel his blood pumping. He shouldn’t get this excited over the thought of someone who still potentially wanted to kill him coming back but Ichigo had already established his head didn’t seem to be screwed on tight, he felt a large grin spread across his face.

Orihime looked on in shock and fear, this was the Kurosaki Ichigo that she had once known, the twisted and deranged smile on his face, he looked like a completely different person.

“I think you should leave Inoue-san.” Yuzu said taking the older woman by her hand and leading her to the front door. “Don’t think you can just come back here after abandoning Onii-chan like you did, and don’t think we’ll ever forgive you for hurting him, Inoue Orihime,” Yuzu told her quietly and pushed the girl out of the front door. Orihime was in shock and walked home numbly, she had messed up and it didn’t seem like she could fix it.

Back inside the Kurosaki household, Ichigo was still shaken up by the new information. Grimmjow had come back, feeling a warm shudder go down his spine as Ichigo recalled the fight he had with the other male. The smile fell from his face as he realized that the lost soul would probably be revolted by how Ichigo looked.

Scrawny.

Weak and powerless.

Completely human and worthless.

“Are you hungry Onii-chan?” Yuzu asked reappearing. Ichigo shook his head and made his way back to his room. His safe haven. He locked the door behind him so no one would come in.

Things weren’t fair, and once again Ichigo was stuck asking himself what did he do to deserve this hand that had been dealt to him. Was it because he was actually some weird pervert? Blue eyes and dangerous smirk flashed in his mind. If he focused hard enough Ichigo could remember what it felt like when he first encountered the wild animal that was Grimmjow Jaegerjaques. The way the Espada’s spiritual pressure had crashed down on him in a near suffocating manner, how it licked at his skin, and was hellbent on destroying everything in its path. Ichigo felt his legs tremble, not from fear but excitement as he recalled those bright vivid blue eyes glaring down at him like he was prey about to be swallowed whole.

Collapsing on to his bed Ichigo laid on his side and let out a frustrated noise as he realized he had gotten hard thinking about a homicidal maniac, but couldn’t bring himself to feel bad. He didn’t want to feel bad or ashamed of the things that made him who he was. The ginger was sick of it. Pulling down his pants he bit his lip as he wrapped his hands around his hardened member, slowly he began to stroke himself trying not to think of Grimmjow but failed miserably. He thought about how big the bluenett’s body was, he had broad shoulders and was much bulkier than Ichigo had been, he would seem even bigger now. Speeding up his strokes Ichigo thought about large calloused hands wrapping themselves around his throat and squeezing until he got lightheaded then letting go, a deep voice rumbling behind him praising him for being so good. A high pitched moan left no parted lips. Gods, Ichigo wanted to be a good boy, he’d do anything to hear the former Espada call him that.

“Ah~...Grimmjow...please,” Ichigo all but whimpered out, he wondered how big Grimmjow’s dick would be. Would it even fit inside of him? Grimmjow would make it fit, claim Ichigo as his. Gasping Ichigo came all over his hand and stomach, not caring he rolled over on to his stomach to bury his face into his pillow. He had some serious problems, ones that wouldn’t go away with therapy, not that he go to a regular therapist without being thrown in the loony bin, he’s sure Isshin would love that.

Letting his eyes fall shut Ichigo drifted off.

_ Waking up he found himself in a familiar place, buildings everywhere, all turned on their sides. Instead of a clear blue sky it was storming incredibly hard. Rain poured down all around him, but Ichigo ignored the meaning behind the gray clouds and claps of thunder. He was back, back to his inner world. _

_ He was brought out of his daze by the feeling of being ran through by a sword. Looking down he saw familiar white sword going through his chest, looking back his eyes grew round with shock as brown orbs met smoldering blue. _

“ _ Wake up Kurosaki! You ain’t human trash!” _

_ The sword was pulled from his chest and he could feel himself falling, so this was just another nightmare. Looking down he saw a hole in his chest, looking up he could see Grimmjow getting further away, a strange look on his face. When he hit the ground he was expecting the impact to be harsh but instead he was met with sand, suck on his back unable to move. He wanted to call out for Zangetsu, he wanted to hear the strange watery voice of his inner hollow mocking him, wanted the old man to softly scold him for not using his head. He wanted to feel comforted. _

_ Something cold and wet pressed against his arm and his eyes quickly snapped over to see a large panther, it was a pale blue color with dark teal spots marking its fur and half its face was covered by a white mask, it had the same shockingly blue eyes as Grimmjow and even the teal markings under his eyes. It had black paws and its tail looked more like someone had attached a whip to the strange animal. _

“ _ If you’re going to kill me just do it already,” Ichigo said making eye contact with the beast. _

“ **_And what good would that do, hmm cub?”_ ** _ A female voice came from the panther despite it, her, not opening her mouth.  _ **_“You two are quite similar, I see now how I was able to connect with you.”_ **

“ _ Just who are you? Ichigo said trying to move. _

“ **_I am Pantera, and I know what you’re going to ask,”_ ** _ she said cutting off the ginger, he didn’t expect Grimmjow’s Zanpaktou spirit to be like this, he expected some huge feral beast, not a cool and collected female, but what he knew about cats females tended to be a lot more ruthless when it came to hunting.  _ **_“I am only here because your soul has resonated with my wielder’s. Not only that but your powers haven’t been fully locked away, the realm of dreams seems to be the only place you can see and hear me.”_ ** _ She said as she laid down beside him a licked his hair. _

“ _ What do you mean my powers have been locked away? They’re gone, completely.” Ichigo said softly. _

“ **_I only know as much as Grimmjow knows, but the one called Urahara Kisuke seems to be certain your powers have been locked away, not only that it’s with his help that I am here talking with you. The same way your Zangestu talks with Grimmjow.”_ **

_ Zangetsu. _

_ Zangetsu was still alive, and Ichigo couldn’t feel him because his powers had been sealed off, not gone like he had thought. This couldn’t be real, his mind was playing tricks on him. This was just another nightmare. _

“ _ Why can’t I move?” He chose to ask. _

“ **_It is because while you can see and talk to me you have no spiritual pressure, due to that my spiritual pressure still weighs down on you. You can feel it here, can’t you? The familiarity of it?”_ **

_ Closing his eyes he focused on what Pantera was telling him, felling his body relax he could feel the familiar reiatsu gently touching his skin, no longer filled with the intent to kill any and everything but a hint of blood lust still remained. It was Grimmjow. _

_ This was happening because their souls had resonated, whatever that meant, and because of Urahara. It must be some sort of forbidden kido technique or another type of Shinigami bullshit. _

“ **_My time is limited, I must go cub,”_ ** _ she nuzzled her nose into orange locks.  _ **_“I beg that you visit Urahara, he just may have the key to getting your powers back.”_ ** _ With that she stalked away, disappearing into the sands of Hueco Mundo. _

  
  


Waking up Ichigo looked out his window, it was night time. His dream still fresh in his head. He pulled up his now grossly sticky shirt to look at his chest there was no hole, but a slight red mark had appeared where he had been stabbed in his dream. Ichigo knew what he had to do, but first, he had to take a shower and brush his teeth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed, and sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes.


	4. Update (not a new chapter)

For now I won't be posting any new chapters for this story as I'm not quite sure where to go with it. Along with that a lot has been going on in my personal life. I don't want to end this story before it even started but I do have an idea for the blueberry ship that I have a lot more interest in and will be posting a chapter for that soon to see how you guys like it.

Thank you to everyone who has read the chapters I posted and are interested in more. I will come back to this once I'm more confident in it 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed! I will be working on getting up the next chapter which will be Grimmjow's POV


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